Inspiring separating couples to make their own informed decisions

Posts tagged ‘Divorce’

New Year Blues – Divorce Day

The first working day back in the New Year is classed as ‘Divorce Day’ by most lawyers. Usually after the festive season those couples who have kept it together for the sake of their children or simply to avoid the stress of a breakup during what should be happy times, make the decision that something needs to be done to end the façade and on going struggles/misery by taking formal steps to end their relationship.

It takes a lot of courage and a strong person to take this bold step but with the right advice and support unhappy couples can make the right decisions about where their relationship is going. Unhappy relationships don’t have to end in Divorce/separation – sometimes all that is needed is  time apart to allow you and your partner the time and space to reflect upon what the real issues are in your relationship. Can they be resolved with professional help and support? Visit the useful links  page for information an agencies such as Relate that may be able to help.

If there is no third-party involvement by either party and no serious issues about the safety or welfare of either party or any child/ren of the family then in some cases the answer maybe to have counselling, therapy, coaching through professionals trained to help couples in such circumstances – to help you get back on track to re-kindle your love and admiration for each other. There are no quick fixes and both you and your partner would have to be committed to this process to have a good chance of succeeding in a reconciliation.

However, sadly in a lot cases you and your partner will have reached the point of no return and therefore serious consideration will need to be given to formalising your separation. The Government is encouraging separating couples to consider family mediation as their first port of call to avoid protracted Court proceedings and the added stress and costs of the traditional Court based approach. Read the related articles below.

Where a case is suitable for mediation, I would strongly recommend that you and your partner at least keep an open mind about the out of Court option and give family mediation a fair go. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Damming Family Legal Aid Cuts

There has been a lot of media hype and genuine concern from professionals involved in the family sector and from couples facing family breakdown about the forthcoming legal aid cuts in April 2013.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the cuts, as of 1st April 2013 there will effectively be no legal aid for family matters on separation/divorce and related issues about property & finance and children’s arrangements unless there has been recent, proven domestic violence and/or there are significant child welfare/public child protection concerns.

There will however, continue to be legal aid for family mediation if you qualify for legal aid in line with the financial criteria as set by the legal services commission.

Whilst I’m a great supporter of dispute resolution out of Court, sadly it will not be suitable for every case and there will be many instances when the separating couple will have no choice but to sort out their differences through the Court system. As a result, unintentionally, the system will as of April 2013, be geared up in favour of those who can afford the services of a solicitor. Those that cannot, will be left to fend for themselves and will be at huge disadvantage, acting as a self represented person without the benefit of legal advice, assistance and representation.

Yes, there is talk of a family law hub, to be set up by the Government to help litigants who will be representing themselves but this will be of little use to those who do not have access to the internet and to people who cannot understand the information because they are less able either through a physical or learning difficulty. Or maybe, the person is just not emotionally/psychologically fit enough to conduct their own case . Litigation can be a daunting prospect for an expert family solicitor in complex family cases, let alone the client attempting to represent him or herself in Court.

As opposed to helping free up Court/Judiciary time, which is the intended desire of the Family Justice Review, the legal aid cuts will have a damming impact upon the Courts by clogging them with self representing litigants who will need more time and energy spent on them by the Judiciary to make sure that Justice is seen to be done and is done.

The sole reason for these legal aid cuts was to save the public purse £350 million from the legal aid budget. In spite of criticism from the President of the Family Division, Head of Family Justice, Sir Nicholas Wall ( in December 2011) the legal aid cuts have been endorsed by the Government. Unless there is a much needed U-turn, the legal aid cuts will come into effect in just over 4 months time.

In my humble opinion, I think that the Government has been short-sighted in its decision-making process. The Family Courts and Judiciary are already over stretched in dealing with the existing family caseload, where the parties continue to have the benefit of family legal aid and the support of their expert solicitors – I dread to think of the chaos and injustice that will be caused as of April 2013 when the damming family legal aid cuts come into effect.

Top Tips For A Hassle Free Divorce!

  1. Do as much of your own research on the law that affects your rights and responsibilities upon separation/divorce – with the World Wide Web at most people’s fingers tips – this should be relatively easy!
  2. Where access to the internet is limited or not available – you can get a lot free information from Law Centres, Citizens’ Advice Centres, or from other similar not for profit organisations in your locality, make sure you are clued up!!
  3. Typically, for married couples/civil partners, you will need to know  how to dissolve your marriage/civil partnership and the main factors that the Court will take into account when considering the terms of a financial settlement under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973.
  4. For unmarried couples the law is more complex and will be governed by trust law principles and  the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustee Act.
  5. When looking at children’s arrangements you will need to be familiar with Children Act 1989  and the factors that the Court will take into account when considering what arrangements will be in the best interests of your child. You can find useful guides on the cafcass website here.
  6. Know that all solicitors/legal advisors work from the same hymn sheet and are governed by same law, and so in the usual run of cases where there are simply not enough capital and/or income resources to sustain the same level of living standards that you had when you were a couple, there will be little scope for creative legal arguments as ‘needs will trump all’  in every such case.
  7. Take stock of your personal circumstances – create your own schedule of assets/liabilities/incomes/budgets to compare your  financial positions and make sure this is undertaken on an open and transparent basis with both of you having had the benefit of either considering supporting documents so that there is no doubt about the information on the schedule or you may waive the right to exchange financial information if you both have had full first-hand knowledge/access to the information and there is no doubt or concern about the same.
  8. Make sure you look after your health and emotional /psychological well-being. Going through a separation/Divorce will probably be one of your most difficult life challenges. Some separating couples have described it as ‘a living bereavement’ and have stated that it was harder to cope with than an actual bereavement of a close family member/friend. Take all the help and support that you can. Not only from family members and friends but most importantly, from other professionals who are qualified and trained to help you at this time of emotional crisis. For example, your GP maybe able to prescribe short-term medication to help with any feelings of low-esteem and he/she may refer you to a specialist Counsellor/Therapist to give you more support. Visit Relate website for more information.

Visit the legal Information Hub on my website to get started and please give serious consideration to family mediation in the even that you cannot reach your own direct agreements. This will serve you, your ex-partner and most importantly, your children well. It is the least self-destructive way of resolving family disputes and reaching resolutions, allowing you the freedom to move on to a brighter, happier and stress free future.

Lord Wilson shares his wisdom

In a recent publication on the FMA website Lord Wilson shares his vision on the future of family mediation. He states,

‘When we face serious family problems, we still usually say to ourselves “I must find a solicitor”. But in many ways (though not all) cases, we would do better to say “We must find a mediator’.

This vision resonates with my personal perspective on family breakdown and reaffirms the harsh reality of the difficult choices that people have to make when they face life-changing circumstances.

The complete article can be viewed here.

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